


Progress

by ashtraythief



Series: Hungry [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Relationship Negotiation, brief Jensen/OMC, mentions of brief Jeff/OMC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 11:49:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15751077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtraythief/pseuds/ashtraythief
Summary: Jensen has a fight with his boyfriend. When he sees Jeff again, it makes him realize a few things.





	Progress

**Author's Note:**

> Another prequel on the rocky road of Jensen and Jeff getting together. Even though I'm kind of tempted to write another one from Jeff's POV, this is close enough (chronologically) to the original story that I'd say the series is complete. If the muse cooperates, I might revisit it at a later time. For now I have to go back to my other WIPs.  
> Many thanks to ilikaicalie for her wonderful beta work!

 

 

 

“Oh my god, Jensen, could you please shut your laptop? I want to go.” Connor’s voice is strained.

 “Five minutes,” Jensen says, never taking his eyes off the screen.

 Connor comes over and leans over the back of the couch. “Are you still looking at the course catalogue for next semester?”

 “I just can’t decide,” Jensen says, cursor hovering over a Japanese history class. “Ancient Japanese History or Italian Film.”

 “Well, it really depends on what you want to do.”

 In the beginning Jensen had just grinned whenever Connor brought up his undeclared status, now Jensen just shoots him a dark look. It’s getting old. Jeff never pressured him about it.

 “Oh for fuck’s sake Jensen, just pick. It’s not like you’re ever gonna finish anyway.”

 Sharply, Jensen looks up. “Excuse me?”

 Connor shrugs. “Look, my dad always needs a good paralegal. I’m sure he’ll give you a job.”

 Jensen knows his mouth falls open and he’s staring, but he hasn’t expected this from Connor. Not the entitlement or the condescension.

 Connor apparently misunderstands and leans down to kiss him. “I didn’t want to tell you so soon, I know you have your hang-ups about relationships and we’ve only been dating four months, but we’re good together. I know my mother will love you and my dad goes along with everything she wants, so we can totally set you up.”

 Fuck. In his desire to make this relationship work, Jensen has apparently overshot his goal by a mile. Chris kept telling him he isn’t himself with Connor.

 And four months? That was when they met at Joe’s, not when Jensen finally brought Connor back to his place for the first time two months ago and anything before that was _not_ dating. Fuck. Jensen needs to stop this before Connor announces their engagement in the papers.

 He leans back and looks Connor dead in the eye. “Connor, I don’t think this is working.”

 “What? What do you mean?”

 “We’re not good together.”

 Connor gapes like a fish. “What?”

“I don’t want to be a paralegal,” Jensen says, speaking slowly, so Connor would understand. “Especially at your dad’s firm. I don’t even want to _meet_ your parents. And I will finish college. At my own pace. And sooner or later I will figure out what I want to do and until then I won’t let someone force me into doing something I don’t want to do.”

 Connor just keeps gaping.

 Jensen sighes, closes his laptop and stands up. “I’m sorry. Really. I was trying to make this work to—“ Jensen lets out a hollow laugh, “I don’t know, to prove something, but it’s not working. It’s not you. So, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll find a nice boyfriend who’ll appreciate everything you’ll do for him.”

 When Connor finds his voice again Jensen’s already out the door. He doesn’t stop.

 

When Jensen comes home, Chris is sitting on the couch, watching a cop show. Apparently they’re just about to arrest the suspect. He hits the pause button when he catches sight of Jensen.

“Uh oh. What happened?”

“Let’s go out tonight.”

 Chris raises an eyebrow. “So, finally have enough of Connor Hiltenberger _the third_?”

 Jensen shot him a glare. “Shut up.”

 “Don’t get me wrong,” Chris says. “I’m glad you dumped Connor. It was almost as if you were possessed by an alien.” Chris shakes his head. “All the dates, and the PDA, and the lovey-dovey-ness…”

 “I know.” Jensen lets himself fall on the couch next to Chris. “I fucking know, okay? I just thought… I don’t know what I thought.”

 Actually, Jensen knows exactly what he thought but he doesn’t want to go there. Unfortunately, Chris doesn’t let him get off the hook that easily.

 “I’m pretty sure it involves your sugar daddy.”

 “Mean.”

 Chris grins unapologetically. “But true. You gonna call the poor guy?”

 Jensen shoots him an indignant look. “No. I’m not gonna run back to him every time I break up with a guy.”

 Chris gives him a look that says he doesn't believe him for a second, which is weird because Chris is not Jeff’s biggest fan. But then again, he hasn’t approved of any of the other guys Jensen ever tried to date either.

 “Just a question, will you ever approve of any guy I date?”

 “If you’re actually serious about them,” Chris says, “we can talk about it.”

 Jensen huffs and gets up. “I’m gonna go shower.”

 

Joe’s is not the most obvious place find a hook-up but Jensen never had a problem. He’s on his second beer with a guy rocking the lumberjack look and shoulders that promise nirvana when Jeff comes in. And just like that, Jensen can’t even remember lumberjack’s name. Fuck.

Jeff catches his eyes and raises an eyebrow. Jensen can’t help but smile. With Jeff, it’s easy. Sure, Jeff was never happy with how things went but he wasn’t unhappy with Jensen. It wasn’t the things he said or did, it was just his lack of commitment. And Jeff knows the score. Maybe they could go back to the whole casual sex thing. Jeff himself had offered, just a few weeks ago when Jensen ran into him at the falafel place. And well, the rasp of Jeff’s stubble against Jensen's cheek when he’d kissed him had sent shivers down his spine—like it always had.

Jensen is aware that lumberjack is talking but Jeff is coming over, in dark jeans and a white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his broad silver rings glinting in the dim light.

It’s Saturday night and Jeff’s rocking the one day stubble that actually looks like an artful three-day stubble but Jensen knows he shaves during the week for work.

"Hey sweetheart,” Jeff says with a smile and his voice is whiskey dark and velvet smooth. He leans in and Jensen almost expects a kiss but then Jeff looks past him toward the bar.

“Thanks, Joe,” he says and pulls back again, a tumbler with amber liquid in his hand. Whiskey. Jeff is every cliche of the successful business man ever, and Jensen hates it, but he still wants him so bad it hurts.

“New boyfriend?” Jeff asks with an amused twinkle in his eyes and points his tumbler towards lumberjack.

“No, we just met,” Jensen says.

Lumberjack looks between the two of them, confused and slightly pissed.

“Ah, well then I don’t want to intrude,” Jeff says, gives Jensen another one of his devastating smiles and leaves.

“Fuck.”

Lumberjack gets up from the barstool. “Yeah, I’m gonna let you sort that one out.”

“What? No, that—”

Lumberjack snorts “I’m sorry, Jensen but I don’t play consolation prize.”

Since Jensen can’t even remember lumberjack’s name, it’s probably better this way.

He keeps sitting at the bar until something cold and hard brushes his hand. He looks up to Joe putting a beer down on the bar next to him. “I know you’re young,” he says, “but that’s no excuse to be stupid.”

Jensen can’t help but laugh. “Thanks, Joe.”

Joe’s eyes are kind and he nods, then flips his kitchen towel at him. “Now get.”

So Jensen takes his beer and goes looking for Jeff.

 

He finds him at one of the tables for two, tucked away between the large potted plants decorating the window sill. Jeff’s talking to a good-looking guy who’s definitely closer to his own age than Jensen is.

For a moment, Jensen asks himself what the fuck he’s doing here but then Jeff looks up and his dark eyes burn into him. So Jensen has no idea what he’s doing but he knows that tonight Jeff will make him forget his own name so it doesn’t really matter.

 

When Jensen wakes up the next morning, Jeff is still asleep. Usually, Jeff’s the first one up, so Jensen takes the opportunity to watch Jeff. Against all romance cliches sleep doesn't make Jeff look younger or vulnerable. He’s still broad, the stubble on his cheeks dark and his features clear cut and strong. And now Jensen’s waxing poetic.

 He tiptoes into the bathroom and then out into the kitchen. He grabs an apple out of Jeff’s fruit bowl and turns on Jeff’s coffee machine, which is a fully automated, bean grinding gift from the gods. Behind her gate, Bisou is wagging her tail. Jensen lets her out and lets her bowl him over. They end up on the hardwood floor, Bisou’s head on Jensen’s stomach and her eyes closed in contentment as he scritches her head. Jensen slowly eats his apple, pets Bisou, and waits for the coffee machine to finish. It’s a good way to wake up.

 He’s still a little sore from last night but Jeff had fucked him so thoroughly, had utterly destroyed him until Jensen wasn’t even able to scream his name anymore. Now Jensen is sporting an impressive hickey on his neck—low enough to be covered by a shirt, Jeff is always mindful like that—and his legs still feel a little wobbly. He grins. He’d really missed this.

 When Bisou raises her head, Jensen knows that Jeff has gotten up. He cranes his neck around and sees him standing in the hallway leading to the living room.

 “That can’t be comfortable.”

Jensen smiles. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.” Then he imperiously stretches out his hand and with a long suffering sigh Jeff comes over and pulls him up.

 “Coffee?” Jeff asks.

 Jensen nods. “Coffee.”

Jeff hands Jensen his mug and makes himself another cup and then they stand in the kitchen in silence, drinking coffee and taking turns petting Bisou who is walking back and forth between them, tail wagging in anticipation of her morning walk.

 “I gotta go walk Bisou,” Jeff says finally.

 Jensen pushes away from the counter. “Yeah, I need to get going to.”

 Jeff nods and Jensen sees how his mouth presses together before he turns away towards his bedroom.

 When they’re both dressed and taking the elevator down, Jensen can’t take the silence anymore.

 “Look, Jeff, I—”

 Jeff presses a finger to his mouth. “Don’t. I told you when we first met I’m a big boy. I know what the score is. You told me from the start. And I’m sorry I lost sight of that along the way.”

 Jensen opens his mouth but he doesn’t know what to say.

 Jeff smiles softly. “I like you, Jensen. I like spending time with you. So call me. No obligations, no strings. No company Christmas parties. Just the two of us, having a good time whenever we feel like it.”

 “Are you sure?”

 Jeff leans in to kiss him. “I’m sure.”

 “Okay,” Jensen says against Jeff’s lips and then dives in for more. He’s missed Jeff more than he thought he would.

 

Jensen calls Jeff four days later. He goes over directly after his last class lets out. Jeff is already home because he’s just gotten back from a business trip. They fuck, shower, make out in the shower and then order pizza. Afterwards Jeff excuses himself, he has to take a call from Shanghai.

 “No one gives a crap about time zones,” he grouses before he stalks off to his office.

 Jensen takes out his laptop. He still hasn't finalized his schedule for next semester and he really needs to pick his classes. He’s still browsing the catalogue when Jeff comes back.

 Jeff climbs on the big couch behind Jensen and draws him against his chest. “What’cha doing, sweetheart?” he rumbles into his ear and presses a very distracting kiss to Jensen’s neck.

 Jensen tilts his head to give him more access. “Stupid schedule for next semester.”

 Jeff hums and drags his mouth away from Jensen’s skin. Instead, he hooks his chin over Jensen’s shoulder. “What are your options?”

 Jensen sighs. “Japanese History or Italian Film.”

 “You don’t sound excited.”

 “I don’t know. It’s just… I’m already taking a history class and I did film last semester but I looked through all the departments that interest me and there wasn’t anything…”

 “Have you checked out the econ classes?”

 Jensen makes a face. “I hate econ. I took Econ 101 in freshman year, never again.”

 Jeff hums. “Yeah, but they always offer economics with historical focus and maybe even a gender one.”

 That actually sounds bearable. Jensen changes the search parameter in the class catalogue search.

 Ten minutes later Jensen settles on The Economics of Gender in Labor Markets and leans back against Jeff’s chest. “Thanks.”

 “You’re welcome.” Jeff says quietly. “Bed?”

 Jensen turns around and straddles Jeff’s lap. “Later.” Then he pulls Jeff’s shirt over his head.

 Jeff’s hands settle on his hips and he gives Jensen a devilish smile. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

 Jensen reaches for Jeff’s belt.

 

When Jensen comes home one Sunday morning, it’s been a month since he and Jeff started hooking up again. Chris is sitting at the kitchen bar in his boxers and eating cereal. Pointedly, he looks Jensen up and down.

Jensen looks down at himself. His fly is closed and he’s wearing all his clothes, with the right sides out.

“What?”

“How long are you gonna lead that poor old sack on?”

“I don’t—there’s no leading on,” Jensen sputters. “Jeff knows nothing’s gonna happen and after last time, he’s fine with it. It’s just sex.” Jensen crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And he’s not that old.”

Chris nods. “And he’s not poor either.”

Rolling his eyes, Jensen walks over to the kitchen bar. “You know I don’t care about that.” He reaches for the cereal and starts eating it right out of the box.

 “Still no breakfast?” Chris remarks. “With all his money, I’m sure the guy can afford better things than cold cereal.”

 This time, Jensen glares. “No breakfast. It’s too much like dating. And it’s better if we don’t blur the lines.”

 “Hooking up every weekend and then having a sleepover when you’re not seeing someone else is sorta like dating.”

 “Says the king of dating.”

 “Low blow, man.”

 Jensen leans forward and buried his face in his hands. “Ugh, I know. Sorry, man.” Jensen looked up at Chris who was just looking at him with an expression of extreme pity.

 “What am I doing?”

 “You've been stringing this guy along for years. And because he apparently has a magic dick he’s ruining you for any other guy. You gotta cut him loose.”

 Just the thought of never seeing Jeff again, it does things to Jensen, weird things he’s been trying really hard not to acknowledge for the last few months.

 After their last fight, something changed between them. Before, Jeff had steered their dynamic, pushing them forwards until Jensen ran away. Now, Jeff is content to let Jensen lead. He likes it, a lot. But sometimes he misses the naked desire in Jeff’s every action for him.

 Still… “I’m not stringing him along. Jeff’s an adult. He knows what he’s doing.”

 Chris’s face says that he’s not convinced but he’s a good friend and drops it.

 

When Jensen shows up at Jeff’s place on a Friday night a few weeks later, Jeff is still on the phone.

 “Shanghai,” Jeff mouths and Jensen rolls his eyes. Whatever is going down with Jeff’s company in Shanghai is seriously encroaching on Jensen’s quality time. With a sigh he goes inside and goes looking for one of Bisou’s toys.

 On the sideboard he sees a pamphlet for an escape room. Jensen has heard of them but hasn’t had the chance to try one out. This could be fun.

 When Jeff comes back, Jensen holds the pamphlet up. “What’s this?”

 “A gift for one of my old college buddies,” Jeff says and draws Jensen against his chest. “I’m flying over next weekend and we’re gonna do that and then go out for drinks after.”

 “Wait, I’m not gonna see you next weekend?” Jensen asks indignantly.

 “Nope,” Jeff says and kisses him, thoroughly. “So we have to make this one count.”

 Jensen wants to grumble but Jeff’s already taking their clothes off so he’s distracted.

 

Jensen only realizes how much of a fixture Jeff has become in his life when he’s gone. The past two months, they saw each other every weekend. Jensen tells himself it’s the sex he misses and texts Jeff on Sunday to see if he has time sometime during the week for a quicky.

Jeff begs off, because of work.

Jensen is starting to develop an irrational hatred towards Shanghai.

 

Friday night Jeff picks him up and the scent of Indian food fills the car.

 Jeff catches his sniffing and smiles. “The new place you mentioned. They don’t deliver but I picked something up.”

 “You’re the best,” Jensen says but there’s a weird feeling, deep in his stomach that he can’t quite place.

 The food is great and the sex is even better and afterwards Jensen curls up in Jeff’s arms and lets him stroke his back.

 “So next Friday I have a birthday to go to,” Jensen says quietly. “Can we do Saturday?”

 Jeff hesitates for a moment, then he pulls Jensen in tighter. “Sorry, sweetheart, I can’t.”

 Jensen’s unreasonably pissed at Jeff’s vague excuse. “Why not?”

 “There’s a charity barbeque for the animal shelter.”

 “The one you got Bisou from?” Jensen asks.

 Jeff presses a kiss against his forehead. “Yeah. But we could do Sunday if you want?”

 “Sure,” Jensen says but he’s not happy. And it isn’t because he’ll have less time with Jeff. It’s the shelter thing and he can’t get it out of his mind. Even after Jeff has fallen asleep, Jensen’s still wide awake.

 Eventually he gets up and sits down on the couch. He feels… jilted, somehow, that Jeff didn’t ask. It’s not one of Jeff’s fancy company dinners after all. It’s a charity BBQ for an animal shelter that would probably already have closed if it weren’t for Jeff’s generous donations. Jeff never put it like that but Jensen can read between the lines. And yeah, Jensen said no to a lot of things in the past but Jeff isn’t even asking anymore. Jensen should welcome it. It’s a good thing, he tells himself. Finally no conflict anymore. But when he crawls into bed again sleep still doesn’t come for a long time.

  


“Did you know that a Peruvian restaurant opened downtown?” Jensen asks when he’s on the phone with Jeff, making weekend plans. The pictures looked really nice and Jensen would love to go. Jeff is one of the few people as keen on trying new food as himself.

 “I had no idea,” Jeff says. “You want to order there on Friday?”

 “I don’t think they deliver,” Jensen says.

 “No problem, I can pick something up. Just let me know what you want.”

 “I—sure, yeah, will do.”

 “Alright, see you Friday.” Jeff hangs up and Jensen feels hollow. Which is just stupid because he wanted it exactly like this.

 “Who died?” Chris asks when he comes into the living room.

 “No one,” Jensen mumbles.

 “Ah. Trouble with the sugar daddy?”

 “He’s not— and no. He’s just doing exactly what I asked him to do.”

 Chrs sighed. “And you’re not happy.”

 Jensen just stares angrily at his phone.

 “Oh for fuck’s sake, just date him.”

 “What?”

 Chris gesticulates wildly. “Not that I think it’s going to last but maybe try the real thing for a while. Then maybe you’ll see that it’s not going to work but then you might at least get over his magic dick.”

 Jensen sticks his tongue out like the adult he is. “You’re just jealous you don’t have someone with a magic dick.”

 “Yes,” Chris deadpans. “Because that’s what I need. A magic dick.”

 Jensen laughs, then he hugs Chris. Chris awkwardly pats him on the back. “Yeah, yeah. I just want you to quit moping.”

  


Jensen doesn’t call Jeff again before Friday, so they get take out. It actually works well for Jensen. He’d forgotten about a paper that was due Friday in class and he didn’t sleep at all during the night. He actually falls asleep on the couch and just barely wakes up when Jeff herds him to bed. The next morning, he makes it up to Jeff with an extra long blowjob. When Jensen finally lets him come, Jeff’s past forming words. Jensen’s so pleased with himself, Jeff pulling him up and jacking him off is really just icing on the cake.

 “I’m starving,” Jensen says afterwards, his voice still rough. “Breakfast?”

 “You want breakfast?” Jeff asks and it sounds surprised even though he tries to hide it.

 “I remember you once offering to make eggs,” Jensen says quietly.

 Jeff is very still for a moment, then he nods. “I did.”

 “Is—” Jensen clears his throat. “Does that offer still stand?” Jensen searches Jeff’s face for a hint but his expression is a blank poker face.

 Slowly, Jeff’s hands take his own. “Just today?” Jeff asks and his voice is rough. “Or should I start stocking up on eggs?”

 “I don’t know,” Jensen says sheepishly. “Depends on how you make them. But I want to try them.”

 With sure hands, Jeff pulls Jensen into his lap. “Sure thing, sweetheart. We’ll do it at your pace.”

 “I can’t promise anything,” Jensen says. He can’t have Jeff get his hopes up and then be disappointed. Either because Jensen can’t do it or because he’ll figure out that dating a college student isn’t so great after all.

 Jeff just kisses him. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.” And he keeps kissing him. And when he presses Jensen back into the bed and slowly pulls his shirt off, there’s the look again, the one full of hunger like he wants to devour Jensen alive, never let him go, like Jensen is the most precious thing in the world.

 It’s too much, but instead of pushing him away, Jensen just closes his eyes and pulls Jeff in for another kiss.

 For now, this is perfect. And who knows where they might end up. Maybe it’ll work out. Maybe Jeff’s the one to try the dating thing with after all.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr [here](http://ashtray-thief.tumblr.com/). My ask box is always open.


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